[Note to readers: I wrote this months ago, and am not in this situation any longer. However, one of my good friends is. This is for her.]
I've been reading a lot of dystopian literature. It's really becoming a problem. You see, I work in an office environment that is more toxic than Chernobyl. It's the type of place where they not only monitor your emails and phone calls, but have cameras installed, and a strict Anti-Fun policy.... I'm not sure that they don't monitor the number of times I go to the bathroom. The majority of the people are simply awful human beings with barely two brain cells to rub together to generate intelligent thought. The problem lies in my need to read dystopian lit. You see, I become a bit testy when I feel I am encountering the "man." And, Dear Reader... I work for him. While on a day to day basis, I am Hermione Granger, content with my books and cleverness, at work I suddenly turn into Katniss. I want to whip out a bow and arrow and show them that I am not a piece in their games. However, that type of rebellion is frowned upon in polite society. I'm Robin Hood. I'm Tris. I'm Joseph Effin' k. Actually, The Trial is just as apt a reference point for insanity as Katniss. I never quite know what's going on, never feel like I have all the details. I work for a combination of the Red Queen, Mad Hatter, and the Judge from the trial. Send me another coupon, boss. I'll shove it up your ass.
The truth is, Reader, I'm having some trouble harnessing my aggressive dystopian take-down-the-system-ism. I make small changes, little clues that scream "I was here! I matter!" But it's not enough. My cubical walls are closing in, and even if I pull a Peter-man and dismantle my cube I still won't be able to see the outdoors... No windows, you see. So, every night, I curl up in bed with a beer and a book... Generally dystopian and always rebellious, because let's be honest... Life is one effed-up book which will never be published and I'm refusing to follow the plotline. And at work? When I get the memo about the new memos? I curl my lip and think "like a dog!"